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Breaking Soul Ties by Drs. Dennis & Jennifer Clark

Breaking Soul Ties by Drs. Dennis & Jennifer Clark

by Parker · 138 things on NewTwos

Freedom from the Root of Toxic Relationships
Our soul has escaped as a bird from the snare of the fowlers; the snare is broken, and we have escaped. - Psalm 124:7
God made my life complete when I placed all the pieces before him. When I cleaned up my act, he gave me a fresh start....God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes (2 Samuel 22:21-25 MSG).
Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me (Psalm 51:10 KJV).
We are thinking, willing, feeling beings.
"He who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with Him" (1 Corinthians 6:17).
Human beings are different from the rest of God's creation because they alone are made in the image of God. God said, "Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness" (Genesis 1:26). "God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:27).
Man is made up of physical material, the body, that can be seen and touched. But we are also made up of immaterial aspects, which are intangible-this includes the soul, spirit, intellect, will, emotions, conscience, and so forth. These immaterial characteristics exist beyond the physical lifespan of the human body and are therefore eternal,
These immaterial aspects—the spirit, soul, heart, conscience, mind, and emotions—make up the whole personality. The Bible makes it clear that the soul and spirit are the primary immaterial aspects of humanity, while the body is the physical container that holds them on this earth.
Because we are spiritual beings who live on planet earth, we must be able to interact with the world around us. We are spirits with a soul who live in a body. With his physical body,
God is a triune being, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit as three in one, and we are also tripartite beings—spirit, soul, and body.
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you completely; and may your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 5:23).
Watchman Nee calls man's spirit the inner man, the soul is the outer man, and the body the outermost man.? For our spirit to make contact with the world around us, our spirit needs to flow through our soul. This is what we commonly call the Lordship of Christ. In a sense, the soul can either imprison our spirit within us or release our spirit outwardly.
When Jesus controls our thoughts, choices, and feelings, He is ruling. Our spirit is free. However, when we control our thoughts, choices, and feelings, we are ruling. Our spirit is encased. "God intended for man's spirit to be His home or dwelling place. So the Holy Spirit making a union with the human spirit was to govern the soul, and the spirit and soul would use the body as the means of expression."
We can think unkind thoughts that are clearly not godly and we can receive life-giving revelation from the Holy Spirit. We can, and often do, make bad choices; while, on the other hand, we can obey God. We can feel carnal emotions and we can experience the fruit of the Spirit. Jesus gave us His peace as a gift so it is always available for us when we are in His presence (see John 14:27). Therefore, our soul consists of our mind, will, and emotions and each faculty can be under the influence of flesh or spirit (either the Holy Spirit or evil spirits).
Since God created each one of us to be thinking, willing, and feeling beings, He wants to be Lord of our mind, will, and emo-tions. Throughout the Bible we're told God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts (see Isaiah 55:8-9; Romans 11:33-34), His will is preferable to the choices we would make on our own (see Proverbs 14:12; 3:5-7), and His love is superior to our negative emotions or selfish desires (see 1 Corinthians 13; 1 John 2:15-17).
God wants to be the Lord of our entire life, not just our "spir-inual" life. Jesus said, "God is Spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth" (John 424). Jesus not only tells us that God is a Spirit, but that He is also known and worshiped through the spirit—our human spirit. In other words, a spiritual God communicates with humans in the realm of the spirit. There is no other way to know God than by the Spirit of God revealing Himself to our human spirit.
But God has revealed them to us through His Spirit. For the Spirit searches all things, yes, the deep things of God. For what man knows the things of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so no one knows the things of God except the Spirit of God. Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God (1 Corinthians 2:10-12).
A spiritual God communicates with humans in the realm of the spirit.
The Scriptures reveal that God has emotions-He gives and receives love, He laughs and cries, He is pleased and angered. He not only has emotions, but His very nature is emotional. God doesn't have carnal emotions like human beings, however. His emotions are infinitely pure and holy. Apostle John writes, "...God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in bim' (1 John 4:16). God does not simply possess love—He is love. His very nature is love. Before the Fall, the entire atmosphere of the Garden of Eden was permeated with the love, joy, and peace of God-the emotions of God.
Our emotions were created to be conduits of God's supernatural emotions. Likewise, our thoughts should be transmitters of God's thoughts and our will should agree with God's will when we are aligned properly with the Lord.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God (1 John 4:7).
once sin entered the world, their spirits were separated from God—they died a spiritual death at the very moment they ate of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Harmony between God and man was suddenly fractured. Adam and Eve became ruled by the flesh rather than by their spirit. Their fallen nature and God's heavenly nature no longer matched.
When a person is born again, the capacity to commune with God is restored. Our Father is a Spirit with heavenly DNA, and His new-creation children are spiritual beings also. Our heavenly Father is the Father of spiritual children. He is the "Father of spir-its" (Hebrews 12:9).
When we are born again, our capacity to commune with God is restored.
Paul says, "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish" (Galatians 5:17).
If we are flesh-ruled, our life is sub-human. However, when we are Spirit-ruled we are living the normal Christian life. Our spirit, not our flesh, rules our soul when Jesus is ruling. That is how God designed us to live.
We were created for communion and community: "It is not good that man should be alone..." (Genesis 2:18).
"God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them" (Genesis 1:27 NASB). God's crowning glory was a man and woman created in God's image (see Psalm 8:4-6; Hebrews 2-7).
From the very beginning, God's beloved son and daughter were fashioned in the image of God so they could have fellowship with Him. Father God made Adam and Eve to be members of His family. They weren't robots or slaves but beings with a free will so they could choose or reject having relationship with God.
As King Solomon lamented late in his life, "I have seen all the works that are done under the sun; and indeed, all is vanity [empty, meaningless] and grasping for the wind" (Ecclesiastes 1:14).
“What...does this craving…proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God Himself.” - Blaise Pascale
"You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you..." (Jeremiah 29:13-14). And: "When You said, 'Seck My face, my beart said to You, Your face, Lord, I will seck» (Psalm 27:8).
When we pray, God increases but self decreases! "He must increase, but I must decrease" (John 3:30).
It appears, however, that what matters is not quantity but qual-ity—it's not the number of social connections bur "the degree to which social interactions satisfied the individual's specific, subjective need for connection."'3 "Whar [predicted] loneliness was.... an issue of quality; the individuals ratings of the meaningfulness, or the meaninglessness, of their encounters with other people.”
Human beings were not meant to live in isolation. Emotional connections bond parents and infants together. The emotional information transmitted by parents stabilizes, regulates, and maintains both the physical and emotional health of the infant. This information balances hormone levels, heart function, sleep rhythms, and functioning of the immune system.
We automatically focus on people, relationships, ourselves, or God whenever we aren't busy. Our brain is programmed to direct our attention to the social world. "It is the brain's preferred state of being, one that it returns to literally the second it has a chance." Since social acceptance is the main focus of brain activ ity, it is not surprising that rejection is one of our greatest fears.
Soul ties are emotional bonds that form an attachment. They may be godly or ungodly, pure or demonic.
“..You are a slave to whatever controls you" (2 Peter 2:19 NLT).
They traded the truth about God for a lie. So they worshiped and served the things God created instead of the Creator bimself, who is worthy of eternal praise! (Romans 1:25 NLT)
I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing (John 15:5).
We must do the same, determining not to allow even loving relationships such as family or friends to draw us into a state of disobedience to God. Anything less than full, total and immediate obedience is disobedience."
We must guard ourselves so we don't open our heart to the wrong people: "Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character" (1 Corinthians 15:33 AMPC). And: "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what felLowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Association. We take on the characteristics of those with whom we choose to associate through the soul ties that form. If we spend time with angry, complaining people, we tend to mirror their behavior. If we hang around those engaging in sinful behav-ior, we become partakers of their sin.
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces (Proverbs 13:20 MSG).
But nou I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person (1 Corinthians 5:11).
Harboring toxic emotions. Toxic emotions that linger are products of unforgiveness. We form bonds with those we hate. Our wounds and anger form ungodly soul ties that keep us in bondage until we forgive. When we forgive from the heart, we experience a supernatural transaction that sets us free and replaces negative emotions with the peace of God.
You have heard that it was said, You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who so much as looks at a woman with evil desire for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart (Matthew 5:27-28 AMPC).
For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphe-mies. These are the things that defile a man... (Matthew 15:19-20).
Manipulation. Another way many soul ties form is through manipulation, which is a form of witchcraft. If a man becomes friends with someone because it's possibly a stepping stone for a promotion at work, it's ungodly. "He has an 'in' with the boss!" Using other people is always ungodly and gives legal ground to the enemy. Believers can also pray witchcraft prayers in an attempt to manipulate or control by praying for their will rather than God's will.
Pride. A soul tie with self can form due to excessive pride. Pride was the sin that turned Lucifer, an anointed cherub of God, into satan, the father of lies. The sin of pride is a preoccupation with self. When we exalt ourselves, in effect, we are saying, "I am my own god." Anything you love more than God is an idol.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you (Matthew 6:33).
The term "codependency" is a fancy, psychological term for someone who is an extreme people-pleaser.
The art of pleasing is the art of deceiving. - French Proverb
"Ifyou can believe, all things are possible to him who believes" (Mark 9:23). And, "Whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them" (Mark 11:24).
Focus is like a spiritual bucket inside. When we focus, we pay attention. He told me that when we focus on Jesus in our heart, we drop our bucket down to our spirit. However, when we focus on our own thoughts, we pull the bucket back up to our head.
Counsel in the heart of man is like water in a deep well, but a man of understanding draws it out (Proverbs 20:5 AMPC).
If you become distracted during the day and disconnect, don't become frustrated with yourself. Simply make the connection again. Drop down to your spirit. Remember, practice makes...permanent.
Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Yielding instantly connects us to Christ within. When we don't yield, we function by our own willpower! On the other hand, when we yield and connect with God, God works.
It is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13 NASB).
The Lord will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace and remain at rest (Exodus 14:14 AMPC).
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law he meditates day and night (Psalm 1:1-2).
negative emotions always give the enemy permission to attack us. The only way evil spirits can torment us is for us to give them permission. As long as demons have legal ground in us, they can harass us. When we remove negative emotions, we take back the ground. The enemy can't touch the fruit of the Spirit.
Pursue peace with all men, and the sanctification without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one comes short of the grace of God; that no root of bitterness springing up causes trouble, and by it many be defiled (Hebrews 12:14-15 NASB).
A root transmits either a flow of life or death, producing good or bad fruit. Your root system either draws nourishment or poison into your life and relationships. We can be rooted in God and life or rooted in bitterness, producing death. You can identify a root by its fruit. A root always produces fruit. Bad fruit comes from a bad root. Good fruit comes from a good root.
A tree is identified by its fruit. If a tree is good, its fruit will be good. If a tree is bad, its fruit will be bad (Matthew 12:33 NLT).
Toxic emotions are not sin; unforgiveness is sin.
"Pursue peace [forgiveness) with all people" (Hebrews 12:14) to be able to know and understand (sce) the Lord. God ties forgiving people to knowing Him.
Bitter roots cause us to reap bitter harvests. They result in continuing cycles of trouble and destruction. They also defile oth-ers, pushing them to sin against us. An individual who has been abused attracts abusers-until the root is removed. Any "root of bitterness springing up" has a life of its own, causing all sorts of trouble in unpleasant repetitive cycles (see Hebrews 12:15).
When we walk in the peace that God gives, people and circumstances can't control us. Was Jesus ever frazzled or anxious? Of course not! He is the Prince of Peace. He has perfect peace, has authority to give us peace, and is the Commander of peace.
Once we know a toxic emotion is present, we can make a supernatural exchange. Any toxic emotion is a signal that the application of forgiveness is needed. When we present our negative emotions to God, He transforms them into Spirit-born emotions.
Forgiveness is the answer for dealing with conflict and offenses in the moment as well as the baggage of the past. Christ is the Forgiver, so forgiveness works every time! It is instant, not a process, just like when you got saved. Deal with whatever God shows you, even if you think it is unimportant. There is no "big or little." If you think it is too traumatic to face, you only have to feel the pain momentarily to present it to Jesus for healing. It's all easy for Jesus!
If in doubt, forgive. You can't love or forgive too much.
God didn't do anything wrong, but people get angry at Him anyway. Sometimes people feel hurt that God didn't do what they wanted Him to do, or become angry that God didn't stop something from happening. Forgiving God gets your heart right by releasing your judgments toward Him.
If you are angry, disappointed with, or ashamed of yourself, you need to receive forgiveness for judging yourself so harshly. Frequently people are much harder on themselves than other people!
Release forgiveness to other people. It sets you free!
Both negative emotions and upsetting thoughts can trigger sinful behavior. A thought that upsets us has emotional power over us. Therefore, when we deal with thoughts, we must first deal with the power behind the thought-the toxic emotion.
We can't stop a thought from coming into our head, but we can defuse its power over our life. Take responsibility for your thought life. Refuse to listen to wrong voices. Test voices according to the Word, the Spirit, and the fruit.
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spinis wbether they are of God... (1 John 4:1).
We give power to what we give attention to. When we lose our peace due to a mild distraction or fleeting worry, we should renounce it (silently or aloud). Release the thought into the hands of God until you feel peace again. When we "take a thought captive," we give it to God.
A repetitive thought with a corresponding negative emotion is a mental stronghold. If a lie comes in, it always comes in at the time of emotional wounding. (Most of the time, emotional wounds do not have a lie, or mental stronghold, attached to them.) When a lie is believed, it blocks the truth from being received. A lie becomes a repetitive thought that we hear repeatedly. A negative emotion is always attached to a lie.
Start with the emotion. To deal with a mental stronghold, alwa deal with the emotion first through forgiveness. When we have a negative emotion fortifying the stronghold, we don't have power to dislodge the lie. When we have peace, we have access to supernatural power over any lie. Always start with the emotion. When you have peace, you have spiritual authority.
Because people aren't perfect, God has made provision for healing and filling our needs. "When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me" (Psalm 27:10). No matter what you've been through, God is able to heal you and provide what you needed.
Toxic emotional attachments, particularly accompanied by demonic activity, are stronger than our willpower.
"Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom be may devour" (1 Peter 5:8). Don't let the enemy sabotage your destiny. God has a good plan for your life and wants you to be free!
We are creatures of habit. More of life than we might believe is the result of our habits—good and bad. Habits are behaviors that are repeated regularly and function automatically. Our habits shape the person we are and who we become. They either propel us forward in life or hold us back. Good habits are beneficial, but bad habits can sabotage our potential and destiny.
Habits help us through the day, eliminating the need to strategize about each tiny step involved in making a frothy latte, driving to work, and other complex routines. Bad habits, though, can have a viselike grip on both mind and behavior. Notoriously hard to break, they are devilishly easy to resume, as many reformed smokers discover.... Important neural activity patterns in a specific region of the brain change when habits are formed, change again when habits are broken, but quickly re-emerge when something rekindles an extinguished habit-routines that originally took great effort to learn.
According to a 2009 study, there is no set time when it comes to breaking an undesirable habit. Some habits can be broken in less than twenty-one days, but the average time to lock in a new behavior is about two months. It is much easier to break a habit when we substitute a replacement behavior. Once we understand the process, we can create another habit to override the undesirable habit by breaking into the loop and altering the components.
A habit is strengthened with repetition. What really gives it power is anticipating, or craving, the reward. Craving is the fuel of our habits. A pleasure center in our brain develops an anticipatory desire for the reward and we feel uncomfortable until we satisfy the craving? Our brain anticipates the pleasure of eating ice cream but there's a gap between what we are experiencing and what we want, so we feel compelled to follow through. A unsatisfied craving creates tension that demands satisfaction.
Addiction may be defined as repeated involvement with a substance or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit forming, such as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes substantial harm because that involvement was, and may continue to be, pleasurable.
In an unhealthy relationship, many people feel that the option of leaving is more frightening than staying because they keep hoping things will change for the better, and maintaining the status quo requires less effort than moving on.
All unhealthy relationships have a mixture of good and bad. It's the "good" that keeps us hooked. That shot of excitement when dopamine is released in the brain is like an intermittent payoff for a gambler. It can add just enough excitement to override the toxic dynamics. Even a little bit of a reward keeps hope alive.
The most important ingredient necessary to alter or break a habit is the belief that change is possible. In addition, having an accountability partner is very helpful when it comes to fortifying your resolve during the process.
Habit researchers have found that almost all habit triggers fall into one of five categories: 1. Location 2. Time 3. Emotional state 4. Other people 5. Immediately preceding action
"It seems ridiculously simple, but once you're aware of how your habit works, once you recognize the cues and rewards, you're halfway to changing it," [according to] Nathan Azrin, one of the developers of habit reversal training... "It seems like it should be more complex. The truth is that the brain can be reprogrammed. You just have to be deliberate about it."'! An occasional slip doesn't seem to seriously impair the habit for- resume after one lapse. Depending"It seems ridiculously simple, but once you're aware of how your habit works, once you recognize the cues and rewards, you're halfway to changing it," [according to] Nathan Azrin, one of the developers of habit reversal training.... "It seems like it should be more complex. The truth is that the brain can be reprogrammed. You just have to be deliberate about it."
Depending on how deeply entrenched the bad habit is, overriding it with a new good habit could take a few weeks to a couple of months. However, you do have to be motivated and methodical or you won't follow through. Be patient, stick to your plan, and the habit will change.
"God is our Refuge and Strength mighty and impenetrable to temptation), a very present and well-proved belp in trouble" (Psalm 46:1 AMPC).
The best way to form a good habit is to make a decision to start, then, keep on doing it. Decide to make the Lord your top priority every day. All behavior starts with making a choice that leads to action. You might want to set your alarm and wake up a little earlier if necessary. When I get up in the morning, I get a cup of coffee and go to my chosen prayer space in the corner of the family room. My journal is kept beside my chair along with several translations of the Bible. (It's difficult to find time to pray later in the day because pastoral emergencies, texts, phone calls, and general church business guarantee regular interruptions throughout the day.)
The benefits of prayer are scientifically-supported: 1. Prayer improves self-control 2. Prayer makes us kinder 3. Prayer makes us more forgiving 4. Prayer increases trust 5. Prayer offsets negative health issues caused by stress
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law (Galatians 5:22-23 NASB).
Two necessary ingredients of Simple Prayer are silence and stillness. If you have ever stilled your thoughts in your prayer time or church to quietly enjoy God's presence, you have already experienced Simple Prayer. The mind does not become blank-awareness of God increases.
Three elements of prayer include: 1. Honor. Honor God as a real person who is right there with you. 2. Awareness (touch, listen, feel, see). As you sense the presence of God, pay attention to the atmosphere and any spiritual impressions. Cultivate an awareness of His presence more than focusing on what you see and hear. 3. Time. Spend enough time to become still in God's presence.
The key to prayer, receiving from God, and developing our spiritual life is understanding location. We must know where to receive and yield. We must receive in our heart, not just our head. If we know something in our head but haven't received it in our heart, it is not yet real to us. Head and heart must cooperate in prayer.
As you begin your journey of breaking bad habits, keep the reward that you will receive in mind. We are motivated by reward, and God is certainly the Rewarder of those who are diligent. When you are weary...think of how wonderful it will be when a bad habit is broken and a good one has taken its place.
First, decide to get started. Second, maintain a positive attitude. Life is 90 percent attitude and ten percent circumstances: "I can do this with the help of God." Third, be committed. Don't let temporary setbacks discourage you. Next, have a regular prayer time in which you spend awhile soaking in the presence of God, not just talking to Him. Finally, welcome God into whatever happens during the day. Notice how your perception changes when you include the Lord. He fills what we present to Him. He is our Immanuel: "God with us" (Matthew 1:23).
It is a spiritual, emotional, and physical covenant defined and blessed by God Himself. "Therefore a man shallleave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh" (Genesis 2:24).
We were created in God's image as spirit beings.
Pierre Teilhard de Chardin writes, in The Phenomenon of Man, "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience."
Human sexuality contains a force so powerful it can bring forth a human life into existence. Our children are born as spirit beings who can become children of God. That is why moral purity is so important. The Bible tells us what to avoid and what to do to keep us safe, not to spoil our fun, but because the penalty for sexual sin is so severe. Keeping God's moral commandments keeps us from being defiled by demons. Sexual sin is such a serious violation that evil spirits always attach when sexual sin is committed.
Marriage was designed to bring joy and satisfaction, grow the human race, be a building block of society, and reproduce godly children.
Jesus took all humanity with Him when He died on the Cross. We died when He died. Because our spirit leaves our body when we die, the sin spirit, or nature, left when we died with Christ. "The body without the spirit is dead" (James 2:26). Because we died, we died to the infilling of the wrong spirit so we could be filled with another Spirit-the Spirit of God. When Christ was raised from the dead, we were raised together with Him with a new spirit. We received "newness of life" (Romans 6:4). The indwelling sin spirit was replaced by the Spirit of Christ! When Christ was raised by the power of the Father, we were raised together with Him with a new spirit.
Our life replaced by Christ's life gives us: • The Spirit of Life instead of a spirit of death * The Spirit of Truth instead of a spirit of error • The True Vine (source of living) instead of a false vine • The Spirit of Holiness instead of a spirit of sin
God doesn't make us good, because there is no goodness in us. God doesn't make us loving, because human love falls short of God's love. God doesn't make us holy, because only He is holy. For every need, God gives us Christ: "By His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification [holiness], and redemption" (1 Corinthians 1:30 NASB). And: "..it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me..." (Galatians 2:20).
Our spirit, soul, and body are connected as a single entity. Whatever affects the body impacts the soul and spirit. Everything that happens to one part impacts the others. Whatever happens to our body touches our soul and spirit. We are fashioned as an indivisible unit!
God is Absolute Authority. Guidance in right living is established by 1) God's Word: 2) God's will; and 3) God's way. God's Word is truth. God's will is oneness. God's way is love.
Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband (Ephesians 5:33).
When sex is misused for selfish physical gratification, it always produces a sense of violation because it was created for oneness, trust, and understanding. Instinctively, a woman feels used and violated when her partner uses her for a cheap thrill, or physical ecstasy, which is selfish gratification. But men also feel used when a woman uses sex for leverage or manipulation.
Both men and women have an inner longing for intimacy with a partner. Sex is truly satisfying only within the safety of a loving relationship. Casual sex violates a woman's fundamental makeup that longs for home and security. Demonstrating love through giving pleasure to the partner is selfless in nature. Love wants to increase oneness. Love desires to protect. Love gives rather than takes. Lust is selfish and seeks only to please self.
God’s purpose was oneness, but couples grow closer as they allow the Lord to deal with their issues and live a lifestyle of forgiveness in marriage.
You know the next commandment pretty well, too: "Don't go to bed with another's spouse." But don't think you've preserved your virtue simply by staying out of bed. Your heart can be corrupted by lust even quicker than your body. Those leering looks you think nobody notices-they also corrupt (Matthew 5:27-28 MSG).
The best way for safety in marriages is open communication between partners. If one feels any attraction to someone other than their spouse, share that information immediately. Check to see if there is a soul tie and receive forgive-ness. If your spouse is uncomfortable with your relationship with another person, that is a red flag that something is wrong. Listen to your spouse. Do not share your life on any emotional level with anyone other than your partner or a same-sex friend. Do not keep secrets from your spouse. At work or in a business setting, keep it strictly business.
Willpower is flesh. It can only suppress appetites and desires so long before weakening and giving in. Spirit, good or evil, is stronger than willpower.
The right way to deal with sexual sin is let God bring to mind individual situations, feel the emotion, and present it to God for cleansing and deliverance. God has already given all believers the God-tools they need, so you can learn to apply them in your own life.
the emotion of love proclaims "life and security" to our cells while the emotion of fear says " death and danger."
The brain has two types of pleasure centers—contentment and craving. Love triggers satisfying, contented pleasure. Lust triggers craving, exciting pleasure. Both change the brain and wire us for patterns of relationship.
Lust is...a strong desire for something or someone and is often used specifically regarding sexual desires. Lust is focused on pleasing oneself, often without regard for detrimental consequences. Lust is closely linked with greed. Many lusts or selfish desires are addressed specifically in the Ten Commandments, for example, where God's people were commanded not to desire a neighbor's house, wife, livestock, or possessions (Exo-dus 20:14-17). In terms of lust related to sexual desire, Jesus directly addressed this controversial topic in His Sermon on the Mount. Jewish tradition often taught that only the action of adultery was sinful. Yet Jesus spoke more directly to the heart, teaching, was said, 'You shall not commit adultery. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 5:27-28). Lust is a sin in both thought and action. The cultural idea of, "It's okay to look if you don't touch" is not the teaching of Jesus.
Addiction is a repetitive pattern of choosing negative life options. It is difficult for people to break free because the brain neurons become connected and neural pathways are formed.
I want to do what is right, but I can't. I want to do what is good, but I don't. I don't want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway (Romans 7:18-19 NLT).
The path of the just is like the shining sun, that shines ever brighter unto the perfect day. The way of the wicked is like darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble (Proverbs 4:18-19).
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. ...But if you have bitter envy and self-seeking in your hearts, do not boast and lie against the truth. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic. For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality and without bypocrisy James 1:5; 3:14-17).
"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me" (Psalm 27:10).
God brings us together with the people of His choosing to build His church so we can grow together. We were never intended to live isolated lives (see Hebrews 10:24-25).
As in any discipline, the old adage "use it or lose it" holds true. In the process of breaking a habit, pursuing physical or spiritual discipline, or gaining freedom from addiction, when our heart changes, our brain changes. As believers, we have the most powerful help of all—God! We have the supernatural power of God at work in our lives. Although the Lord moves in our lives in many different ways, we must do our own part while we yield to the supernatural.
"God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6).
But me, I'm not giving up. Im sticking around to see what God will do. I'm waiting for God to make things right. I'm counting on God to listen to me. Don't, enemy, crow over me. I'm down, but I'm not out. I'm sitting in the dark right now, but God is my light. I can take (it).... But it's not forever. He's on my side and is going to get me out of this. He'll turn on the lights and show me His ways. I'll see the whole picture and how right He is.
And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you... (Jeremiah 29:13-14).
Remember, God never overwhelms us but leads us step-by-step into freedom and victory. Every baby step of obedience builds spiritual authority. Once we are free, we have an anointing to rescue others who are ensnared. "He makes me as surefooted as a deer, enabling me to stand on mountain heights" (Psalm 18:33 NLT).