Self-Care Checklist
by arsims0616@ · 46 things on NewTwos
- "If you feel unhappy, start by caring for your body. If you feel uninspired, start by caring for your mind. If you feel unmotivated, start by caring for your soul."
- Category 1: Sleep (Body)
- Do you feel like you are getting enough sleep? Do you feel like you are getting good sleep? If you said yes to both, move on to the next category. If you said no to either, keep reading for ideas that should help.
- Go to bed at the same time every night and get out of bed (notice I didn't just say wake up) at the same time every morning. Aim to be in bed for 8-9 hours if you can, but even if you can't do that, be as consistent as possible. If you have to sacrifice consistency on one end, it is most important to get up at a consistent time. However, even an hour can make a difference if you wait too long to start winding down, so try to be consistent with that as well whenever possible.
- Put your phone away at least an hour before bed, except for calming activities (Finch, Loona, yoga, meditation, listening to music, etc.). Try to be done with social media, texting, games, watching movies, or any other screen time that is remotely stimulating before starting to wind down.
- If you have trouble falling asleep at night, try to pay attention to whether your body or your brain is having trouble relaxing. If your body is too tense or energized to rest, try some yoga, take a warm bath or shower, or do a body scan. If your mind is too active to rest, try meditation or journaling to empty your busy brain and focus on calming thoughts.
- Having a bedtime routine helps your body know that it is time to sleep, and gives your brain a chance to relax for sleep. Having a morning routine helps your body know that it is time to wake up, and gives your brain a chance to prepare for the day. Consistency is key.
- Category 2: Sunlight (Body)
- If you're unhappy, you're probably not getting enough. Read on.
- Get in the sun as soon as possible after waking up. Even if it's only 10 minutes. Even if it's cloudy. Even if it's through a window. Find the brightest patch of daylight you can, as early as you can, and stay there for as long as you can. A good goal to aim for is 10 minutes of sunlight by 10am. This helps your body calibrate its internal clock and gives you a sense of time and space. A body clock that is well calibrated helps you sleep better and feel more grounded.
- If you're unhappy, you may be deficient in vitamin D. Spend as much time outside in sunlight as you possibly can, especially in winter when you are less likely to get enough sunlight. You can also consider taking a vitamin D supplement if you're concerned you may be deficient.
- Category 3: Exercise (Body)
- Moving your body helps you feel like you exist in the world. If you don't already have scheduled times that you move your body multiple times a week, or if you have scheduled times but you aren't doing them, keep reading.
- Welcome to the 21st century. Unless you set aside time to move your body regularly, you probably aren't exercising enough. So let's make a plan. First, make a list of anything remotely active that you enjoy doing and that is currently accessible to you. My short list of go-to activities includes walking, running, biking, swimming, hiking, yoga, going to the gym, exercise videos on YouTube, playing pickleball with friends, playing with small children... pretty much anything you can think of to get your heart pounding and your limbs moving. No movement is too small if you'll actually do it.
- Once you have a few activities in mind, pick a specific time that you intend to do those activities. If you already have times you planned to do them but you haven't been doing them, pick a different time. That one isn't working. You might have to try different times until you find one you can stick to. It probably won't be easy, but give it your best shot. You'll feel a lot better if you do.
- The nice thing about living in a body is that it never lets you become boring. Once you've gotten into the rhythm of moving your body regularly, keep experimenting. Try exercising more often. Try switching up the activities. Try pushing yourself harder. Do whatever keeps you moving and having fun. You'll sleep better and you'll feel better too.
- Category 4: Stress (Mind)
- Do you feel stressed? I mean, do you feel like your stress is out of control? If you're worrying a lot and you don't know how to stop, keep reading for ideas that should help. Stress is part of daily life, though, and it isn't always a bad thing. If you feel like you're reasonably able to handle the stress in your life right now, you can skip to the next category.
- Sometimes you feel stressed because of big external stressors that are outside of your control. If that's the case for you, start by writing everything down. Get everything that's worrying you out of your head and on paper before you try to deal with it. When you're done, ask yourself if you've done everything in your power to address each issue. If not, make a plan of action. When you've done everything you can do, remember to pray about it often and let God handle it. Remember also to be extra gentle with yourself during a stressful time. You're doing what you can and the last thing you need is extra criticism.
- Sometimes you feel stressed because your nervous system is so vulnerable that even tiny stressors are overwhelming. If you feel like this is the case for you, focus on strengthening your nervous system so that it doesn't get overloaded so easily. You can do this with regular meditation, journaling, and deep conversations that help you understand what's going on in your brain and get back in touch with reality. You can also care for your nervous system by providing it with as many cues of safety as possible. Make use of anything and everything that makes your brain and body feel safe: routines, cups of tea, familiar books and movies, listening to birds, warm hugs, having your needs seen and met, etc. The more your body knows that you are safe, the less it will try to protect you from nonexistent dangers.
- Category 5: Relationships (Soul)
- Are you feeling disconnected from someone? If so, the best thing to do is to talk to that person or just spend time around them. Every relationship is different, and they are all needed and important: friends, parents, spouses, siblings. If you're stumped or overwhelmed, keep reading for ideas that should help a disconnected relationship.
- Does the person know you feel this way? If not, that's a good place to start. Even if you're concerned that the problem is all in your head, it's even less likely that you'll be able to solve the problem entirely in your head. If you don't feel safe talking to the person about the problem, at least try spending time with them. You might find that distance was the problem, and if not you might get more data to figure out what the problem is. If you have a close relationship with this person, bringing up your feelings is more likely to help you feel better than to create further problems. You and your feelings are important to the people who love you, but they can't help you unless they know you're struggling.
- If the feelings are getting overwhelming, go back to basics. Remember what you know about this person and what you know about yourself. Remember what you don't know about God and His plan. Remember that your feelings matter and they don't have to match anyone else's. Remember that the key to every healthy relationship is communication. Remember that every relationship is two-sided, and that the other person's thoughts and feelings matter too. Remember that you are loved and accepted by the people who love you, even when you have big, scary feelings. Remember that two heads are usually better than one, because they are unlikely to go wrong in the same direction. Ground yourself in reality every way that you can. Feelings are valuable sources of information, and feelings are valid, but feelings are not truth. God and His Word are the only source of truth.
- Be patient. Relationships are complicated. For an all-or-nothing brain, it can sometimes seem like there are big problems in a relationship that later turn out to be nothing at all. Rest in the knowledge that God is working in your life and in the lives of the people you love, and that people who love you will always work with you through whatever issues arise. Feel your feelings, but don't make any big decisions in the heat of the moment. You will most likely feel better about it soon, and if you don't, you can go from there knowing there's a real issue and not just a momentary feeling. It never hurts to be patient with yourself and your feelings.
- Category 6: Food (Body)
- Food is very important. You can't live without it, and it has a huge impact on the way you feel. It's probably worth reading through this category even if you don't feel like this is a huge issue for you right now. This is one area you will never do perfectly, but it is always good to do as much as you can handle.
- Quality: Good food is so good for you. Bad food is very bad for you. It can be hard for someone who is already feeling overwhelmed to distinguish between the two, but you at least have some idea of the two extremes. No matter how much energy you have to devote to what you eat, the least you can do is to choose the healthiest option available to you that you will eat. It doesn't hurt you to stay away from something that's not as good for you, unless that means you just don't eat. It is always better to eat something bad than to eat nothing. However, use as much energy as you have to provide yourself with the highest quality food that you can that you will eat. If you are consistently feeling sad or anxious, it could be worthwhile to pay attention to triggering foods you might be eating: sugar, caffeine, gluten, dairy, carbs. If you notice a trend, try staying away from foods that you think could be affecting you. But never do this at the cost of not eating. If you don't currently have energy to eat different foods, just eat what you can.
- Quantity: If you feel hungry, eat food. If you don't feel hungry, consider whether you could possibly eat food. If the answer is yes, think about doing it. If the answer is no, honor your body and don't force it. This is a general rule for someone who is experiencing significant anxiety or is out of touch with their body's needs. It is important to combine this rule with the section above about eating quality foods. Your body doesn't usually crave too much good food. If you're concerned that you're gaining weight or overeating, put energy into the quality of food that you're eating before you start to think about the quantity.
- Timing: The human body thrives on consistency. Every body is different as far as how often it needs food and how long it can go without, but every body does best when it knows when to expect its next meal. Whether your body likes to eat one meal a day or three, try to eat around the same times each day. Life isn't always consistent, though, and you cannot always control when you have access to food. For someone whose body and/or nervous system is especially vulnerable, it is always a good idea to have a snack on hand for times when consistency is not achievable. If your body has to work extra hard to regulate itself, it is extra important to have the fuel you need to do so.
- Drink water!!! If you're not using the bathroom every 1-2 hours, you're dehydrated. If you feel thirsty, you're already dehydrated. Get yourself a cute bottle, set reminders to have a drink, do whatever you have to do to drink more water. Don't wait till you feel like it!
- Category 7: Hygiene (Body)
- You probably know it's important to brush your teeth. Well, it is. If you're not doing that, start there, but have a look also at these areas that could affect your well-being if neglected.
- There are lots of things in our universe that we cannot see that can harm us. God know this and He knows it's important for us to keep clean to protect our bodies. If you're struggling with this in any way, it's time to address it. Are you showering regularly? Brushing and flossing regularly? Keeping yourself clean at that time of the month? Washing your hands before you eat? Any other cleanliness habits you've been slacking on that come to mind? Think about what makes it hard and why you're not doing it, assuming that if you could do it as things are, you would. Make necessary changes to help yourself have healthy habits.
- Not all the things we can't see are harmful. Lots of things we can't see are crucial to our well-being. If you have access to any sort of testing that could tell you if you're low on vitamins, nutrients, or anything of that nature, do it and make appropriate changes as you can.
- Category 8: Spiritual Grounding (Soul)
- Your relationship with God is the most important thing to focus on, when you're feeling good and especially when you aren't. It's okay to feel disconnected from God, but at least make sure you're putting in effort and telling Him about it. Get in the habit of regularly assessing how you're doing in these areas to make sure you're not allowing anything to distract you from what's most important.
- Scripture: If you want to know God, you have to hear what He has to say to you. Find a way to be in God's word daily. Memorize verses. Color the Psalms. Read or listen to a chapter a day. Work through a devotional with a journal to write down what God is teaching you. The more ways you are exposed to God's Word, the better, as long as it is meaningful and accessible.
- Prayer: If you want to feel connected to God, you have to talk to Him. It doesn't matter what this looks like, as long as you do it every day. Go for a walk and talk out loud. Go in your closet and shut the door to be alone with God. Write what you have to say in a journal. Tell God how you feel and what you need, and don't forget to thank Him for what He's done and what He's doing.
- Rest: If you're constantly busy, you're probably feeling disconnected from God. It is very important to take time away from the monotony of earthly things to enjoy heavenly things like rest. Whether it's all day on Sunday or an hour every day or anything you can stick to, make sure there are times in your week that you have the chance to let everything else go and bask in the glory of our God.
- Community: God gave us the church for a reason, and the reason is two-fold: confession and celebration. You probably already know spending time with other humans is important, but you may be neglecting one of these areas. Make sure that you have at least one close relationship in which you regularly discuss your weaknesses and struggles. It can be hard to be vulnerable with someone about your failures, but the accountability and camaraderie you get when you are open with someone about such things is indispensable and will likely make you feel better than if you had kept it to yourself. Make sure also that you have people who will celebrate with you when you feel good, and with whom you can celebrate even when you're not feeling so good yourself.
- Category 9: Purpose (Mind)
- As human beings, we were designed on purpose and for a purpose. If we lack a sense of purpose, it is going to have a negative effect on us. If you find yourself wondering who you are (other than a child of God - see category 8 if that's an issue) or what you're doing with your life (other than telling anyone and everyone about Jesus), read on for helpful ideas to implement.
- Make a list of big goals and small goals. Even if you feel like you don't know what you're doing with your life, you probably have some idea of what you would like to do with your life. If not, just start listing ideas, even if they're wild and crazy and possibly unrealistic. When you have some big goals that resonate with you (2-3 is probably a reasonable number), start breaking them down into smaller goals that will get you there (go to goblin tools for help with this). Keep going until your goals are small enough that you could tackle at least one in a day. Then do that. Every day. Indefinitely. No goal is too small as long as you're making progress with goals you genuinely want to achieve.
- Have a creative outlet. Even if it doesn't feel remotely productive, creating something that wasn't there before, whether it's a craft, a song, or a work of art, is a tangible way to feel like you're doing something meaningful.
- Do something for someone else every day. Even if it's as small as a compliment or offering to take someone's plate to the sink. The fastest way to stop feeling sad is usually to get outside of yourself by focusing on other people and what they need. Acts of service not only help others, but they also help you remember that we exist not only for ourselves. You matter and you have something to contribute to the world.