A simple guide to an effective apology
by mitchel · 12 things on NewTwos
- A real, effective apology has three parts:
- Acknowledge how your action affected the person;
- Say you're sorry;
- Describe what you're going to do to make it right or ensure it doesn't happen again.
- Tip: If you know you would unintentionally do it again, don't make promises you can't keep. Promising that you would do your best is good enough.
- Don't give excuses or explain.
- Most people treat an apology as a way to explain their point of view.
- But that feels to the listener like you are making excuses or minimizing their experience.
- Scenario: For example, your friend accidentally ruins your expensive carpet by spilling a big cup of tea on it. Think about which you'd rather hear.
- Mediocre apology: "I'm so sorry! I was so focused on not missing any parts of the movie and I accidentally knocked it over. It was totally an accident. I feel terrible."
- Good apology: "I know you really love your carpet, and now it's got a stain on it - you must be really upset about that. I'm so sorry. I'd be happy to pay for a cleaning, and in the future, I will be sure to pay attention to the way I hold the cup.
- Note: This guide was written based on information gathered from various sources. Efforts have been made to ensure clarity and simplicity through editing.