Write Things Down

Her energy made my eyes bounce with her body. I looked down and she was gone but the smile she gave me will last for weeks as I passively search for her on campus.

I showed her what a man could do and she wanted more. I didn’t turn her into a whore. She always been one lying dormant in a virgin’s body. Her parents did it too her. Denied her everything, even a stable childhood. She needed a vice and I gave it to her. I gave her something that could clear her mind for a moment the first time and last longer for ever orgasm after. I gave her peace.

I love you so much it almost breaks time for me. I’d live and die in your arms in one moment if you never had to let me go. Time has no meaning with you.

I could have been better but never good enough for you. You needed more than just a guy. You needed a man and I was still too much of a child for you. I always would be. It’s how I was raised. The guilt made me stop doing things I loved. I stopped cooking for you. Stopped fucking you like you loved. Stopped calling you baby doll and you stopped being mine.

I’d hate to find out that the only things I like about myself are medical problems, something that can be cured with a pill. That this amazing beauty I feel will go away with the lows that get me in trouble. Will my turn of phrase and outlook change so much that i’ll feel like a stranger to myself? I already feel different enough.

My open mind closed you in my arms and let me feel how gentle a woman could be to another. You kissed like I always wanted to be kissed and touched my body slowly. My body ached for you and you knew how long to let me hurt. Soft skin that been treated as good as mine. Soft lips that kissed all my spots. Hard bites to remind me you knew what you were doing. Teaching me to do things I already knew how to do. You held me after then gave me the sweetest goodbye.

Karma owed me a few more heartbreaks but this one seemed to take me to a place I didn’t think normal people could go. I was dark and dried on the inside. The tears stopped but would start up again randomly. When my mind went blank and I felt what it must be like to be dead. I liked how it felt and knew I wanted to feel it forever.

She had the type of breasts that could slap you in the face from a good distance and the attitude that made you want her mad at you.

I’d sit in the bath watching her keep young for me. Lotions, creams, and oils, everything to keep her skin young and tight. She’d do it to stay beautiful for me even though with every year she seemed better. She had yet to hit the point where her beauty would start to decline and with everything she used she might be able to fight it off for another decade.

Why aren’t you driving home to me tonight? I know your car couldn’t make it and it takes money to fly. But I’d be better to you. I’d be better than me. Much better than him. I would worship your body and mind and we’d laugh about how we don’t have souls.

I already knew who would tear us apart, you knew her by name but not by face. By flawed description to ease your worries. She knew how you smelt on me and would work me hard until it was just hers.

I smacked her ass a little harder than she wanted me too, which was still softer than it should of been. Cheating bitch. There is never a reason to hit a woman but there always something that makes you want to. That’s the good thing about having a girl that likes it a little rough. But she was going to get it rougher. I knew she fucked him and I wanted to choke the cunt, so I did.

She ended up liking it and it became part of our thing. She kept cheating on me and I kept getting rougher with her. She took it until she felt like she didn’t deserve it anymore and left with him.

I was alone and angry with no one to take it out on.

I no longer wear the watch you bought me but I had it repaired, just incase you ever come by and give me my future back.

She was hot and dripping like a broken espresso machine, she was ready, but Jeff fixed that.

This was her night and she slowly let me become a part if it; she couldn’t turn down a foot rub. Her feet were soft and I didn’t believe she was a waitress even if we did meet at work. Her hair was clean and didn’t stop my fingers. It was soft too like she brushed each handful a hundred times. She did this once a week to remind herself what she could be and what her life will be like.

I wrote and took tasteful pictures, even the head shots she needed. I know she likes the attention but I think she really liked having the same access to me.

We were both dreaming and even dreaming of being together but it was all fake.