Her face was strained by all the emotions it carried. Guilty to have seen me, to have kissed me, and to have held onto me with a heavy left hand. Mostly though, she felt guilty about the happiness. Happy that she saw me, and happy that I really did listened to her. When we said good bye, before we had to walk to different parking lots and different cars, I could see how depressed she was. Depressed because she didn’t know when she could feel this bad again.