I miss how the boys used to look at me
The slightly older gay boys
The free cups of coffee my looks got me
The free coffee that my girlfriend got because she was with me

I miss the threats to get me drunk and suck me off
The tilted heads and sideway smiles
It made me feel pretty
It gave me the power girls had over me

I miss that feeling
It let me be a girl without the heels
I’m more of a man now
Only girls have put notches in my belt

Still, I miss the pretty gay boys’ stares.